Day 35 of writing every day.
I’m returning to work today after a standard length 2-day weekend filled with busy things but no time to really relax. I’m trying to stay positive as I begin writing today’s entry on the train to work, which I’ve pretty much accepted as a job I’m no longer interested in continuing any longer than I have to.
On Saturday night, I saw a woman on the train who looked like she may have been a victim or involved in some kind of violent situation. Her nose had dried blood that reached down near her upper lip, and another small patch of dried blood just under her eye looked like she may have been scratched or scraped by fingernails or something else. It could have been a fall that just caught her at a weird angle perhaps though.
I didn’t notice her wounds at first since all I could tell was someone with their head hung down probably feeling very awful. When I actually snuck a glance at her face she seemed quite distressed and slowly worked her fingers to text someone it looked like.
I wondered why no one bothered to call out to her to at least ask if she’s alright. Japanese culture seems to have this practice of not wanting to be a burden to anyone as it means they’re causing problems for other people. The shame of doing such a thing is worse than suffering in silence for some and have pushed people in extreme situations to commit suicide if news stories are to be believed.
The woman held in whatever she was feeling though it looked like she wanted to cry. In the few minutes between my getting on the train and my getting off at my stop, she slowly broke down. Her hand would grasp at the bar next to the train door to stabilize herself, occasionally brushing against the young woman seated next to the door and on the other side of the bar who just ignored any signs of distress the woman breaking down next to her gave off.
The woman eventually sank down to the floor hunched over so that her face was hidden between her legs by the time the train reached my station. I badly wanted to just call out and ask if she’s okay. I didn’t know why no one else even showed the slightest bit of concern and in fact pretended not to notice or even acknowledge this woman. But I feel weak and hypocritical about not doing so in the end.
We’re all told to mind our own business and stay out of other people’s affairs in the post industrial society where even individuals within families seem to be seen as independent and self-reliant. This idea of shared common identity exists but so many barriers exist that it’s just a fanciful idea. Only the few who were raised in such environments of sticking their noses into each other’s businesses and earnestly caring for each other actually practice what is preached nowadays.
I thought I was stronger and more courageous than what my own inaction proved. Perhaps the woman was fine on her own and just needed some time to process and recover on her own. I wouldn’t know without even asking in the first place though. I just hope that the next time I encounter something similar, I’ll be able to act rather than be a bystander.
It’s just a story that had nothing to do with my day but I think it’s something that I came upon by chance to remind me to do better.
Thanks for reading!
One Chance Works 