Day 46 of writing every day.
I don’t feel envious of others as an adult as much as I did when I was a child or adolescent. Growing up in a lower class single parent household and going to public school, I knew some classmates might have been blessed with a better environment to grow up in by just having both parents present in their lives. But the most notable differences might have been material if anything.
Material luxuries back in the 90s such as portable CD players and battery-powered gaming devices like Gameboy Color, etc. that kids could carry with them while out was something I didn’t get to experience as a child. CD players became a lot cheaper by the time I got one and iPods were the revolutionary hit things to have, containing up to hundreds of songs while your burned CD held maybe up to ten mp3 songs.
I wasn’t bothered about living in a poor-ish household since things could always be worse. I didn’t go hungry or homeless, and my mother allowed me to participate in extracurricular activities to encourage my growth and expand my potential. I didn’t experience anything I’d consider physical or emotional abuse like some kids might in households that seem like they have it all.
Sidenote
When I graduated from college and found a temporary English teaching job in Japan, I was quite disappointed by what my job offered versus my expectations. I hadn’t worked full-time before as an employed adult, but I had done full-time summer internships in high school and college, so I had some work experience under my belt and wasn’t someone who only read books, took tests, and wrote papers.
A lot of things taught to students in public schools don’t have much real life applications after a certain point. Being able to read and write is essential because being illiterate becomes a huge barrier to understanding in a large society where a majority of communications are done in writing instead of orally.
A stranger at home
Getting back on track, part of the envy I still have is for people who were able to learn marketable skills that they can use to make a living. More specifically, those born into families where they learned occupational skills from parents, siblings, or extended family growing up. It’s perhaps another form of generational wealth that may or may not be considered strictly material but more social. And it is yet another thing I did not have growing up as a first generation American born person with no extended family.
Well, there’s no point wallowing in self pity and being envious, but it’s a story I can save for another time. All I want to do right now is practice Aikido but my schedule just keeps me from doing so in any meaningful amount. My mind just wanders and the feeling of unfairness that there are those who get to do what they want, pursuing their passion seemingly all the time keeps welling up wanting to be let out. So I let them out.
Thanks for reading!
One Chance Works 