Cuteness Overload

Day 125 of writing every day.

Sharing photos and videos of cute babies and critters has evolved with the internet. What once could only be done in-person is now done on the worldwide web, and everyone that’s plugged in is a potential viewer.

I’m not a behavioral psychologist but I’ve heard that the inclination to adore “cuteness” as a quality is something that allows humans to have a nurturing and protective side, or something along those lines. I’ve never really understood what seemed to me like an “obsession” that some people have with things they think are cute.

I grew up with popular media that often stereotyped women in this regard when it comes to some compulsive urge to buy shoes and clothes when out shopping. It’s not stuff they’re gonna wear and it might just end up sitting in the closet, but these characters just “have to have it.” In response to this stereotype, popular media then says men who are smart won’t let their women have access to a credit card.

I mean, if someone’s going to spend money they don’t have and it’s not going to have any value or meaning besides feeding a desire for cuteness that can never be sated, then of course it’d make financial sense to not let them have your credit card. You wouldn’t let a kid make purchasing decisions for you and there have been enough stories out there of kids who made outrageous use of money when they found their parent’s phone unlocked.

Kids might do it for reasons other than cuteness. They could want some toys, a lot of food, or just games or in-game credits. For adults, the obsession with cuteness, for those who are vulnerable to it, seems to lead to self harming behavior in my view. In Japan, for example people will fork over tons of money and use up their time trying to collect idol goods and attend their concerts or fan events.

It’s quite amazing how idolatry can make people worship someone that they don’t even know in private. A lot of it is just what they project on the people they worship and it’s all in their minds. Such fantasies make their target of affection appear perfect and deserving of their love and money.

Babies to Adults

One of the main reasons some people like babies is that they’re cute (of course some do not and don’t want to be around one ever). If we’re programmed to love cuteness, that makes sure we do whatever it takes to see them grow up healthy and strong instead of just abandoning them to die after having enough being woken up in the middle of the night crying to be fed, held, or a change of diaper. If an adult made us look after them like this, it’d be because they have special needs and it’s a paid nursing facility doing it or a family that loves them deeply.

In Japan I see small preschool aged kids that are able to run around and communicate some of their own thoughts often enough during the day while out shopping. I didn’t really have much exposure to children in early childhood stages back in the states, but here it seems quite common for kids their age to still beg their parents to be held.

Not all parents are the same, and when I brought up this topic before while chatting idly with former coworkers a year ago, I got told I was being judgmental for thinking that a parent would prefer to scroll through their phone or ignore their kids outright was being cold to their kid. The response was that kids who can speak and walk around on their own don’t need to be held even if they’re pleading to be held. It’s like this western idea that babies should have their own rooms and parents monitor them through a tool.

I get that parents need to be able to tell their kids “No,” and that means being able to withstand the eyes of people looking at them judgmentally at times for bringing a crying child out to public. It’s not an enjoyable experience listening to kids cry. This doesn’t have to be limited to abuse, but also the fact that crying disturbs much desired peace and quiet that many people want as an escape from their busy lives.

But is part of the desire to start pushing kids away once they start being able to do things the right thing to do emotionally? I get that perhaps it’s a different stage of parenting and childhood, yet there might be a better way to make the transition more bearable for all involved. Perhaps the kids have gotten too old to have that maximal cuteness their parents would answer to.

I had a dream perhaps or a random thought when I see people posting baby pictures. A parent who is with their child from birth to adulthood sees their child as this tiny precious being who is so fragile that they wouldn’t survive without love and nurture. As they grow up it’s natural to expect they’ll grow apart as they become involved with people outside the family.

My thoughts were to just embrace your child while they still need you and actually want to be with you. Once they grow out of it they won’t ask for it ever, and while some might find it a relief, other parents might regret not being as loving as they could’ve been later in life. Well, parents who end up getting ditched or neglected (such as no holiday visits or family gatherings) by their children in old age because their children saw them as being unloving growing up will have only themselves to blame.

Forever Babies

Somewhere along the way to their adulthood, I feel like some adults just want to make that feeling last forever because of the cuteness the baby exudes. When they grow out of it, it suddenly feels like parents just decide to lose interest in showering their kids with affection. So instead they use pets as the new recipient of their love for cuteness. After all, pets are helpless without their owners and some are especially cuddly and small enough to hold even after maturation. I’ve seen plenty of people pushing dogs around in strollers, something a parent with a baby would just love to be rid of as soon as their kids are big enough to walk and not complain about tired feet.

Well, it’s not my intention to badmouth anyone in this post. I’m just exploring my thoughts and jotting them down in my blog.

Thanks for reading!