Day 51 of writing every day.
After writing about my childhood passions and getting time for introspection along with it, I feel invigorated. The drive to reclaim the “good old days” is renewed somewhat like an empty tank that got partially refueled.
I have a lot of things on my mind but I don’t often put them to speech even if the words are there. Maybe this habit is what causes words to get stuck in my mouth. I’m not a mute, but I don’t talk enough that the total amount of hours I’ve spoken my entire life is greatly below that of the “average” person who’s always looking to share a piece of their mind.
Let the loudmouths talk then, I’m not interested in some unspoken competition to talk over other people and be the loudest in the conversation that’s often just a attention craving loudmouth’s monologue. I’ll talk when there’s someone that actually wants to listen to what I have to say. It’s much more productive to write instead as I have the opportunity to look back on the things I’ve recorded.
Wanting to be a “Normal” kid
Is there really such a thing as a “normal” kid? I don’t really think so, but we do have expectations of what we think kids are like at certain ages. Their brain’s development stage may exaggerate traits and tendencies that might lead to frequently appearing patterns of behavior. Most importantly adults play a big role in shaping kids, so a “normal” kid really might be nothing more than a child who acts and thinks like how most adults would “expect” them to according to the values and beliefs held by adults.
Picking up where I left off
With my mind more focused by the time I was in fourth grade, I think my grades were pretty good. If there were subjects I was bad at a year or two ago, I wouldn’t have known it. I was no way the top student but I could get A’s without any issue and would wonder why so other classmates didn’t get A’s. I didn’t really choose my friends but the classmates I ended up getting along with and liked having me around got similar grades I believe.
Having no friends I could hang out with outside of school, I think I tried being American by emulating my classmates quite a bit, wanting to fit in and have a fun time. A kid in Minnesota who practices Aikido once or twice a week for an activity outside of school is not going to be typical when everyone else is doing things like fishing and camping, playing football, basketball, or just hanging out in the shade gossiping.
What could be more awkward for a kid who runs outside for recess but has trouble finding friends to play with, or has friends who don’t have anything in common they want to do during recess? Maybe some aren’t interested in running around and that’s fine too, but for me feeling like I didn’t have a place I fit in was probably the one thing I wanted to avoid.
Playing the violin was normal-ish but not quite as common as playing the piano or a wind instrument. I didn’t really have any friends in elementary school or middle school I really considered peers when it came to the violin since no one else at my school advanced at my pace. It wasn’t until my violin teacher arranged some play together for her students of similar levels that I actually experienced trying to play alongside other students on pieces that proved challenging.
Violin vs. Aikido
My passion for the violin grew because my mom was willing to provide for me, getting me a quality luthier-crafted violin to play with when it seemed like the lessons were really letting my musical talent with the instrument shine. She also signed me up for the student summer camp orchestra organized by a locally prestigious music school that my violin teacher recommended for me despite me not having any formal pedagogical music education like learning the scales.
Compared to just going to Aikido children’s class at the dojo, playing the violin required a big investment of time and money that wouldn’t have happened without the active support and approval from my mom. But in exchange I was going places I’d never go if I wasn’t playing the violin, and playing alongside peers I’d never have met without playing the violin.
For many, I think this craving for a community of peers is what sustains our passion for any activity no matter how young or old we are. When Aikido is like a once or twice a week activity that’s just one hour long, it’s not going to get a very engaged group of young students if they have something else that offers a lot more opportunities and experiences at a higher frequency. That is unless Aikido is a good getaway from the intensity of another activity that’s causing them stress.
I’ll stop here for today’s post and continue tomorrow if there’s time.
Thanks for reading!
One Chance Works 